Oscar Telecast

Just turned on ABC and the Barbara Walters special is over, and Jamie Foxx is playing piano over the credits. Ok Jaime, we get it. You can play piano like Ray Charles. What do you want, a medal?

Wait, what, 8:00 is the stupid COUNTDOWN? Mary Hart, Billy Bush….arrgh, my eyes! I shouldn’t be watching this.

Let’s see how many times Swank mentions her husband since she forgot to thank him the last time she won.

Annette Bening seems a little mellow. Warren must’ve drugged her, but he does that every night.

Haha, Donnie Darko just interrupted Jaime Foxx’s interview. They’re starring in “Jarhead” together, seems like they’ve got a good rapport.

Wow, Halle Berry looks FANTASTIC. I still don’t respect her though.

Renee Zellweger…not sure the red dress w/ the black hair is the look for her. No, I’m positive…it’s not a good look for her.

Laura Linney…no way, her chest is bigger than that. I don’t like her hair, it’s a little too futuristic or something.

Virginia Madsen is beautiful, but the blue dress is a little too bold.

Cate Blanchett looks pretty damn good. She’s so smart and articulate, like most English actresses. American actresses tend to be giddy girlie girls.

PriceWaterhouseCoopers has the envelopes and, oh wait…

Penelope Cruz. God damn. Cruise is a fool. A fool! Someone said she looks like a muppet…I can’t remember who, but right now I hate that person and wish them sickness and death.

Ok, the Oscars are starting now. Let’s get this party started.

A clip montage about movies. They just compared Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon’s treetop sequence to Tarzan swinging through the jungle. Blah, I wish I could fastforward this drivel.

Here comes the Rock. He looks pretty good. And he’s getting a standing ovation….??!@! What? WHY? Because he was persecuted by the press? Oh, poor Chris Rock. God, Hollywood is so full of itself.

He’s killing. This is good stuff. I love the Jude Law bit. Yes yes, cheer the Bush bashing, you monkeys. The Gap-Deficit analogy is stupid. And oh look, no one’s applauding the Passion. Big surprise.

Haha, what a joke, “I’m sending a message out to all our troop.s.” That was genuine, ya prick.

Cool, the Art Direction nominees get to go onstage. That’s a cool idea. Wahoo, Dante Ferretti won for “The Aviator.” He’s done some great work other years. Yeah ok, I can’t name a specific film he did, but whenever I look up a movie on imdb.com, he’s the art director.

Supporting Actor time. I predicted Morgan Freeman. But I want Clive Owen to win, because he’s cool. The scene they’re showing of Thomas Hayden Church is the scene that made me think he was a terrible actor. Go figure. Freeman wins. I’m happy for him. His speech was so short! No way man, he should’ve said more. He’s a legend.

Animation award. Robin Williams has been better. Sweet, The Incredibles won. Hurray for Brad Bird.

One thing Chris Rock doesn’t have is a gentlemanly nature. So when he says “Please welcome, Cate Blanchett,” it sounds dirty.

Wait a sec, the lesser award winners don’t get to go onstage? What is this, the caste system? Is Hollywood on the road to serfdom?

9:18pm

“Aviator” wins Costume Design. Hmm, I hope it doesn’t just win the technical awards.

Supporting Actress. Cate Blanchett wins. She ends her classy speech by saying to Martin Scorsese that “I hope my son marries your daughter.” Well now, how embarrassing is that for Scorsese Jr and little miss Blanchett? Maybe they’re like really young, but what if they’re dating and watching the show? Damn that would be awkward.

“Born into Brothels” wins Documentary. Warning: Political rant ahead. At last year’s State of the Union address (in 2004), Bush talked about the moral tragedy of the youth sex trade and the brothels where these little girls grow up in. He announced some initiative for this, but I can’t remember what it was. He also spoke of the steroid abuse problem in professional sports. Meryl Streep mocked him for this at the Golden Globes, saying “I don’t think steroids is the worst problem in our country right now,” or something to that effect. Now here we are in 2005, and Hollywood has just given an award to a movie for documenting this terrible crisis. And thanks to Jason Giambi and Jose Canseco, steroid use is getting major attention in the news media, and everyone’s like, “How did this happen? This is ruining baseball! We have to fix this! Mandatory drug testing for all! Bwahhh! Yeah. Who woulda thunk it? George Bush did.

Thelma Schoonmaker wins best editing for The Aviator. She’s fucking awesome. She’s done like everyone of Scorsese’s films, and they’re always edited well. Oh cool, she won for “Raging Bull” too. Scoresese can hardly contain himself. I’m really happy about this win.

Rock & Sandler have a bit. Let’s see if they’re as good as Ben & Owen….. Nope, they’re not.

Adapted Screenplay. For godsakes, what is with “Before Sunset”? Can a sequel be an adaptation from its first movie? That’s fuckin stupid. Yes, “Sideways” wins! Another prediction comes true, and it’s deserved.

Visual Effects. Hmm, nothing stellar here. “Spider-Man 2” wins. The effects were certainly better than the original, but I remember thinking it was still a little too video-game-like.

The President of the Academy is drawing an analogy between his speech and a “sermon.” That was table scrap for the red states. Now he’s doing the obligatory military appreciation spiel: “Our films take you back home for an hour or so. And our prayers wish you a sweet and safe return.” That was nice, but how about actually supporting them for a change?

Al Pacino’s in the house! One of the few actors from the 70’s with his integrity still intact. Sidney Lumet gets a Lifetime Achievement Award. Hmm, I know a few of his films. “Dog Day,” “Serpico,” “Night Falls on Manhattan.” What else? Maybe the montage will help me here. Oh shit, he did “Network.” He’s done a lot of films. What the fuck is this…Vin Diesel’s in a Sidney Lumet movie coming out? And they gave him a wig of gray hair? Why in the world would they show that clip?

Scorsese’s crying again. Man, if he wins, he’s not going to make it.

Beeeeeyonce Knowles sings something from “Phantom.” Minnie Driver does it in the movie, but the Academy didn’t want her because she has a fat face and isn’t hip with the kids like BK. What a classy organization.

Kate Winslet. I love this girl. Her dress is an interesting color…kind of a royal blue. She’s announcing Cinematography. I’m not really happy with any of the nominees. The winner is Robert Richardson (of “JFK” and “Kill Bill” fame) for the “Aviator.” I guess that’s the one I’d want. It’s no “Motorcycle Diaries” or “Collateral” though.

10:25pm

Oh my god, Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek are on the same stage! This is like staring at the sun -- if you look too long, you’ll go blind. BLIND! Only Penelope Cruz could make Hayek look sort of plain. And with that hair in her face, Salma makes her job even easier. It was a smart idea on the Academy’s part to keep these gals on stage as long as possible. Heck, they should’ve presented EVERYTHING. Memo to the Academy and every other Awards Organization: If you want higher ratings, assign hosting duties to Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek.

Natalie Portman looks like she stepped off the set of “Julius Caesar” with that green toga and gold headband.

10:44pm

Scorsese is getting much love. I wonder if it’s really pity.

In Mrmoriam montage. Barely a clap for Ronald Reagan. What a bunch of creeps.

When the producers of this show were assigning presenting duties for the song from “Polar Express,” who in the room yelled out, “Puffy!”?

And goddamn, does Beyonce have to sing EVERYTHING? But hey, at least “The Motorcycle Diaries” won for Song. Pretty damn cool.

Alright, Best Actress time. Sean Penn is back to wearing his hair “I Am Sam”-style. I predicted Hilary Swank, who was really fucking good in a not so fucking good movie. And she wins. Nice long speech, not just rambling off names to thank but stating WHY she’s thanking them.

Wait a sec, is that Billy Crudup in that new MasterCard commercial? I think he’s the guy playing the clerk at the gas station. No way! No Way! It can’t be! Is it him? Is it?

11:15pm

Foreign Language Film goes to “The Sea Inside,” directed by Alejandro Amenabar, who did “Open Your Eyes,” which I really liked. So this is cool. This night is turning out pretty well for both the African-American and Spanish communities.

Ok, Original Screenplay. Hotel Rwanda, Aviator, Incredibles, YES!!!! Eternal Sunshine WINS! OH YES! I predicted it too, but I didn’t really think it could win! The best award of the evening so far.

11:25pm

Charlize Theron. I spoke too soon earlier. Penelope Cruz and CHARLIZE THERON should have all hosting duties.

Best Actor. Jaime Foxx time. I’m sorry , even from these clips it’s pretty damn clear how awesome Leo was. Foxx wins. Let’s see, he gets an ovation. Incredible speech. And let’s be honest, that’s one of the reasons he won, because he gave a good speech at the Globes. Btw, I like his suit…dark blue & black striped…but not distinct stripes. Very cool.

Ok, ok. Julia Roberts looks pretty damn good for just having twins.

Best Director: I get a very Scorsese feeling tonight. I feel it. Ahh, fuck. Eastwood wins. This shouldn’t have happened. It feels wrong to me. He made the movie in 37 days, he says. And it shows.

Yuck, following up Eastwood’s classy presence with Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand…presenting Best Picture? They don’t deserve this honor, especially her. “Million Dollar Baby” wins. Now, I have to say it’s amazing that a movie that almost didn’t get made and wasn’t supported by the studio, has now won Best Picture. That’s pretty damn groovy. I’ll leave it at that.

Oscar Predictions

I know it's a little early in the week to be gearing up for the Oscars (which air this Sunday), but since I'm gonna be busy the rest of the week with work, moving, and a potential visit for Jude, I thought I'd get these out of the way now.

I make predictions in 9 main categories, basically the only ones I know anything about. Last year I went 7 for 9, incorrectly predicting that the Academy would see through Renee Zellweger's Kathy Bates impersonation in "Cold Mountain" and laugh in the face of LOTR when it was nominated alongside "Mystic River" and "City of God" in the screenplay category (it inexplicably won). This year I expect less success because I haven't been paying much attention to the buzz or the waves of support that accompany the Oscar campaigns. Although I do know "Million Dollar Baby (Poop)" will win big.

Predicted winners are in RED

BEST PICTURE
THE AVIATOR
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY POOP
RAY
SIDEWAYS

A victory for "The Aviator" would make the most sense to me, but it would offend the opinion of lots of people out there who were deeply moved by Eastwood's emotional machinations. Hey, whatever floats their boat. And apparently their boats float on poop. POOP. POOOOOP.

DIRECTING
Martin Scorsese, THE AVIATOR
Clint Eastwood, MILLION DOLLAR BABY POOP
Taylor Hackford, RAY
Alexander Payne, SIDEWAYS
Mike Leigh, VERA DRAKE

The two powerplayers here are Scorsese and Eastwood. Anyone with two eyes can see that "The Aviator" features far more directorial flourishes and sophisticated techniques than Eastwood's solid but unimpressive camerawork. The fact that Eastwood has already won an directing Oscar and Scorsese hasn't (a friggin artistic travesty) shouldn't be the reason Scorsese wins. He deserves to win this year with "The Aviator" because it's a great film (he didn't last time with Gangs of New York). And, yeah, it's been a long time coming. Give the man his due for godsakes. Now, if Michel Gondry ("Eternal Sunshine"), Walter Salles ("Motorcycle Diaries"), or Michael Mann ("Collateral") were nominated, I might be having second thoughts. But no one in this category deserves to win besides Scorsese.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Don Cheadle - HOTEL RWANDA
Johnny Depp - FINDING NEVERLAND
Leonardo DiCaprio - THE AVIATOR
Clint Eastwood - MILLION DOLLAR BABY POOP
Jamie Foxx - RAY

Foxx is the clear frontrunner. He nailed Ray Charles, his performance rose above the lackluster material, and he has courted the Academy nicely. But personally, DiCaprio gave the more absorbing portrayl, surprising even his most ardent critics, but maybe that's because he had a better written character (Ray Charles's lifestory is great, but Hughes's is better). The fact that Eastwood is nominated here indicates very strong support for his film, even though he plays little more than a grumpy old man. In a year that featured great work from Paul Giamatti, Jim Carrey, and Christian Bale, Eastwood's nomination is BULLSHIT. Foxx will no doubt win, and all my harping will be for nothing, but all this "Baby" love has pissed me off.

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Annette Bening - BEING JULIA
Catalina Sandino Moreno - MARIA FULL OF GRACE
Imelda Staunton - VERA DRAKE
Hilary Swank - MILLION DOLLAR BABY POOP
Kate Winslet - ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

Looking at this list, you'd think 2004 was a dim year for lead actresses, and you'd be right. But I'd mention Laura Linney's everywoman character in "P.S." and Uma Thurman's kick-ass (literally) physical performance in "Kill Bill: Vol 2" as proof that things aren't all bad for actresses. But still. Not good. Poor Annette, losing once again to the star of "The Next Karate Kid." Methinks she'll need a little loving from Warren on Oscar night. Hey Warren, put that mirror down and please your wife, you narcissist.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Alan Alda - THE AVIATOR
Thomas Haden Church - SIDEWAYS
Jamie Foxx - COLLATERAL
Morgan Freeman - MILLION DOLLAR BABY POOP
Clive Owen - CLOSER

Oh look, Morgan Freeman is playing a wise, tells-it-like-it-is black sage to his white friend. Where have we seen this before? Take your pick:

Driving Miss Daisy
Glory
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Unforgiven
The Shawshank Redemption

Yeah, suck it Freeman.

(in all seriousness, he's never won, so ok, let him have it).

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Cate Blanchett - THE AVIATOR
Laura Linney - KINSEY
Virginia Madsen - SIDEWAYS
Sophie Okonedo - HOTEL RWANDA
Natalie Portman - CLOSER

I would predict Madsen, because, duh, she was awesome. But I think voters will see this as their chance to award "The Aviator" if they don't want to give it Best Picture or Director. I'm not a huge fan of Blanchett's Hepburn, but I'm a huge fan of her general, so bring it on. Both her and Linney are the future Streeps.

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
BEFORE SUNSET
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY POOP
THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES
SIDEWAYS

This is where "Sideways" has the best chance, and I cannot see it going to "Neverland" or "Sunset" (what is this adapted from?). "Diaries" was a great film, and I would be extremely happy if it won, but "Sideways" is a writer's film, through and through. But, sigh, "M$BPoop" might rob yet another category. For once I'll be an optimist.

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
THE AVIATOR
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
HOTEL RWANDA
THE INCREDIBLES
VERA DRAKE

The nominations for "The Aviator" and "Hotel Rwanda" are dubious to me because one's a biopic and the other is based on a true story, so they've gotta be adapted from fairly substantial source material. But anyway, "Eternal Sunshine" is Charlie Kaufmann's best work, and that's saying a lot. And he won the Writer's Guild Award (as did "Sideways"). So there.

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
THE INCREDIBLES
SHARK TALE
SHREK 2

As if there's any doubt. What a wonderful film. "Shark Tale" should be ashamed to be in such company.

There you have it. My predicts. I'll try to blog my way through the broadcast on Sunday. Curses and all.

"Evil" Puppet

Whenever I listen to Interpol's "Evil," I have nightmares. Why? Because of this thing:

http://www.blastro.com/images/large/lg_interpolevil.jpg

That's a picture of the freaky, life-like puppet that narrates the music video, and it has ruined the song for me. I want you to share in my torment, so watch the video for free here:

http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/musicvideos/1460/

Now, I'm sure this dummy is a BREAKTHROUGH in puppet technology, but can someone explain to me why the hell his mouth UPSIDE DOWN? He has strikingly human expressions, and they give him scars, but when they make him dance (yes, dance) he's just as puppet-like as Kermit the Frog. And he has NO NOSTRILS. What were they thinking? Does this make the song more appealing? Is it a metaphor in some way? I have no idea. But whenever I hear the song on the radio or from my iPod, the image of this frightening figure pops in my head. I can't help it. He sings in the video, so his face is forever linked to frontman Paul Banks' voice. Maybe I just need to watch more of their normal videos and performances; maybe that'll erase these traumatic images. Ugh, awful. So awful.

So I saw "Constantine" today, and it was surprisingly OK. It's based on a DC-Vertigo comic called "Hellblazer" that was written by "Preacher"-scribe Garth Ennis for a while. So, yeah, I had to see it. Now, Keanu Reeves. sigh. Let's put aside the fact that John Constantine is English and, ya know, smart. We all know Keanu can't play smart...that's a stretch for a lot of actors. But, with Keanu, he's only passable when he has little to do except look good and be cool (Point Break, Matrix). Anything more than that, he does more harm than good. And that's what happens in "Constantine." He tries to be dry, and gruff, and cynical, and dark and mean-spirited, but it never works. It's a classic example of miscasting. All of Keanu's desperate acting aside, the movie ain't bad. There's a bunch of neat special fx and demon/exorcism moments that actually border on ORIGINAL. Sure, the plot and some of the characters are derivative, but the movie looks really friggin good. Kudos to director Francis Lawrence and his cinematographer for that. Rachel Weisz ain't bad as the detective/love interest, and neither is Tilda Swinton as the angel Gabriel. If only they casted someone like Clive Owen instead of Keanu. I mean, John Constantine has the potential to be a pretty interesting character in future installments. Here's a guy who tried to kill himself when he was younger because of all the things he could "see." He was dead for two minutes and in that time he saw where he was going: Hell. So as a way of getting back in God's good graces, he spends his life fighting demons, trying to buy his way back into Heaven. Kinda cool, right? Yeah, I think so too. 3/5.

I also watched "Infernal Affairs," the japanese flick Scorsese is remaking next year. It's got an awesome premise. Both the mob and the police have placed moles in each other's organization. The police mole has been deep undercover for ten years, slowly becoming the gang leader's most trusted soldier, and the gang mole has worked his way up the police hierarchy. It's a tighter, leaner version of "Donnie Brasco," not nearly as good, but still touching on the same themes. The cop mole is desperate to return to the force and lead a normal life, but that becomes more and more difficult to do as the movie goes on. The gang mole has learned to enjoy his life as a cop (he's got a wife and a nice place) and has to decide which side he's really on. So, like I said, it's a great premise. Unfortunately, the movie doesn't quite live up to it. There are major miscues of music during dramatic scenes (a result of Miramax meddling, perhaps?), and the script doesn't really uncover much of what's going on in these guys' heads. The Scorsese film will no doubt be better. Especially with the cast he's lined up: Matt Damon, Leo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, and Jack Nicholson. It's going to be set in Boston, and since both Damon, Wahlberg, and the screenwriter are Boston-ites, I suspect the city will figure prominently. Damon is playing the gang mole (the bad guy), and DiCaprio the tortured cop mole (the good guy). Wahlberg is reportedly playing DiCaprio's supervisor, one of the only men who knows he's a mole. And Nicholson has got the crime boss part. How is it that Nicholson hasn't been in a Scorsese movie before? 3/5.

It Ain't Cool

Watched: "P.S." -- Dylan Kidd's followup to "Roger Dodger," a sharp little film about the end of male pigheaded-ness. Laura Linney plays a just-turned-forty admissions officer at Columbia University who comes across an art applicant who resembles, acts like, talks like, and has the same name as her high school boyfriend, who died in a car accident when he was 17. Topher Grace is the applicant. The movie plays out in ways I wasn't expecting, but it never crystalizes into anything special. Linney is friggin awesome in this, and she's what holds it together. Grace is good too, but check out his more recent work in "In Good Company" first. Marcia Gay Harden plays yet another unlikeable character. I can't tell if it's her I hate, or just the characters she plays. I couldn't stand her in "Mystic River," and she's nails-on-a-chalkboard in this too. 3/5.

Ain't It Cool News has a new site design, and it hurts my eyes. I don't understand why big fat Harry Knowles can't catch up with the rest of the online community and put together a decent layout. I mean, AICN is supposedly the first-in-line for any breaking movie news; they have all these "spies" and "sources" that can infiltrate the fortresses of studio offices. Yet they can't hire a $5/hr web designer? Come on! And don't tell me that's their appeal...that it's a reflection of the "underground" and "rebellious" spirit of the site. That might've worked in like 1996 or something, but a lot has changed since then. The internet isn't the new kid on the block, it isn't the secret weapon mere citizens can use against the big bad studios. And AICN ain't alone anymore. There are literally hundreds of movie news sites out there. What's so great about AICN, then? NOTHING. Maybe it's just me. I've lost my interest in the rumor mill and frankly only give a film my attention when the trailer comes out. What do I care what Michael Bay says on the set of "The Island"? Unless it's "I'm retiring," I'm not interested. Plus, AICN is increasingly geared towards geekdom. And while yes, I'm a geek, I'm not a geek about Anime, crazy kung fu movies, Godzilla, King Kong, or Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (especially that one). At least CHUD.com gives good commentary and reports on a wider range of film developments. Plus their layout doesn't make me want to barf.

The point is, Harry Knowles deserves a swift kick in the balls.

Grrr, Ben hungry

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/ben.jpg

HA HA HA.

Boar Expert

The new episode of "Lost" that aired tonight was the third best of the season. The best is the Locke episode, which ended with us realizing his paralysis had been cured, the second-best was "Confidence Man," a backstory involving Sawyer, and tonight's episode, the second Sawyer-centric episode, ranks third. Not only did tonight's flashback flesh out more of Sawyer's hang-ups and deep dark secrets, but it also tossed in a little scene with Jack's Dad. At the very end of the episode, when Sawyer realizes who he had talked to in the bar, I was begging Sawyer to tell Jack the things his Dad said. But does he? No. Why? Because he's fuckin Sawyer and he doesn't like to see anybody happy (especially Jack) , and because he's ashamed of what kind of man he is in comparison to Jack, who according to his dad is a "great man." It was just a pitch-perfect way to end the episode. When Sawyer chided Kate for being a "boar expert," I was laughing out loud. It was just the way he said it. And for those who didn't have their closed captions on, the whispers in the jungle were saying "it'll come back around," which were the last words spoken by the man Sawyer killed. All in all, it was a strong, character-driven episode with some terrific writing, even if Kate was acting a bit more flirty than usual. "ooh, look at me in my blue tank top with no bra. oooh, aren't i sexy?" Yes you are Kate, now go film another singles commercial.

My boss Gary had a flat tire yesterday. At lunchtime he likes to go out and get a better parking spot closer to the building. And while doing this yesterday he ran over a tiny drill bit. So of course he recruits me to help him change his tire (he helped me with my muffler), and as we're lying there on the pavement putting on the donut, everyone is walking back from lunch making jokes like "How many accountants does it take to change a tire?" and "You better make sure we have room in our budget for that. Ha ha!" What makes it even more funny is that Gary has had a hernia in his abdominals for the past 2 weeks, but only got it diagnosed this morning. It moved from his side-abdominal all the way down to his groin. HILARIOUS!

Boar expert. hee hee

Vroom vroom!

The trusty ol' Civic seems to be falling apart piece by piece. Last Saturday it was a flat tire. Today it was the muffler, which broke like a twig this morning just as I was pulling into the plant parking lot. My car had been noisier than normal these past couple days, and I was gonna ask someone else to listen to see if it sounded serious before I took it in for a check-up. But when I heard that loud *pop*, I knew it was over. It started making the same noises it made 2 years ago when the piping system fell off in the middle of the road. That was fun, if your idea of fun is being stranded in a bad part of town at 11pm at night with nothing but an icescraper and a roll of toilet paper to defend yourself.

At lunchtime I took it over to PepBoys, who then referred me to Monroe Muffler at BJ's. Today I realized how inexperienced I am at talking/negotiating with mechanics. I just don't know the language. Luckily my boss Gary was with me, and he can get along great with just about anyone. So he did most of the talking. I'm such a dweeb. Anyway, I needed a new muffler, a new gasket, and a spring bolt kit. I decided to get an oil change too, because it was past due, and since my air filter looked like a chimney, they replaced that too. The total bill came to $278, which is apparently very reasonable, but how would I know? I can afford it, but the timing is a little unfortunate what with my big move coming up, which will be expensive no matter how much I save by borrowing my parent's furniture. The corporate reimbursement probably won't kick in until April (if I'm lucky) so my bank account might look a little skinny in the coming months...barring no more car trouble.

"24" was good tonight, as it has been all season. It's clear from next week's previews that Behrooz gets it, which is OK with me because the actor who plays him is awful. It's the grounded acting of folks like Kiefer Sutherland that keeps the show from coming off as completely absurd. I'm disappointed that the plot involves nuclear power plants, because all the research I've done suggests that it would be nearly impossible for terrorists to cause a meltdown or any significant amount of radiation leakage. Not a single person got sick or died from the Three Mile Island incident, yet it's described as this huge disaster that proved how unsafe nuclear power was. The nuclear industry still hasn't recovered from the negative press/ public opinion that resulted from that, and shows like "24" don't help. I'm telling you, nuclear power is the safest, cheapest way to reduced our dependence on oil. But I'm biased. For godsakes, I work at a plant that makes reactor coolant pumps.... (I had written some more work-related stuff here, but I removed it for fear of losing my job).


Uh oh, Drudge is trying desperately to concoct a controversy out of some comments Chris Rock made about the Oscars. Nice try Drudge, but Rock is a comic, and he was just kidding around. Stick to posting unflattering pictures of Hillary Clinton. I like those.

Kablooey

The indie world exploded into a million gazillion pieces when "Garden State" soundtrack won tonight, and it's sweet that Wilco won, too. Turns out ex-Prez Clinton had already received a spoken-word Grammy, so my eyes should've been gouged out a long time ago. I wonder if George W. Bush's biography will be nominated? Somehow I doubt it. In all fairness though, his life isn't nearly as interesting as Clinton's, because it doesn't involve infidelity and murder. Yeah that's right, I went there.

Sunday Sunday Sunday

Tom Friedman just wrote an editorial explaining his "Geo-Green" theory I referred to a few posts ago: go here.

Boston Legal is new tonight. I wish I could talk like Alan Shore (James Spader). It's easy to talk like Denny Crane, but you need the presence too. "Matt Nania" doesn't carry quite the same weight. Maybe I'll change my name to Denny Crane.

I watched "Ray" yesterday. Go here for my thoughts. My silly mother bought the Full Frame version and didn't notice any difference. Sigh, I thought we'd moved beyond this people. I had already educated her on the blasphemy of full-frame DVDs, but it apparently hasn't completely sunk in.

The Grammys are on tonight. Who knows if I'll even remember to watch them. But I'm still going to expend the effort to choose my winners. This is only a list of the categories I care about, and even then it's a stretch.

Record of the year
“Let’s Get It Started,” The Black Eyed Peas;
“Here We Go Again,” Ray Charles and Norah Jones;
“American Idiot,” Green Day;
“Heaven,” Los Lonely Boys;
“Yeah!” Usher featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris

Uh, what? Oh man, this is gonna be terrible.

Album of the year
“Genius Loves Company,” Ray Charles and Various Artists;
“American Idiot,” Green Day;
“The Diary of Alicia Keys,” Alicia Keys;
“Confessions,” Usher;
“The College Dropout,” Kanye West

These can't be real.

Song of the year
“Daughters,” John Mayer (John Mayer);
“If I Ain’t Got You,” Alicia Keys (Alicia Keys);
“Jesus Walks,” C. Smith and Kanye West (Kanye West);
“Live Like You Were Dying,” Tim Nichols and Craig Wiseman (Tim McGraw);
“The Reason,” Daniel Estrin and Douglas Robb (Hoobastank)

...

New artist
Los Lonely Boys;
Maroon 5;
Joss Stone;
Kanye West;
Gretchen Wilson

The future looks bright!

Female Pop Vocal Performance
“Oceania,” Bjork;
“The First Cut Is the Deepest,” Sheryl Crow;
“Sunrise,” Norah Jones;
“What You Waiting For?” Gwen Stefani; “
You Had Me,” Joss Stone

Gwen Stefani, because that song's catchy and you know it.

Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal
“Monkey to Man,” Elvis Costello and The Imposters;
“Take Me Out,” Franz Ferdinand;
“American Idiot,” Green Day;
“Somebody Told Me,” The Killers;
“Vertigo,” U2

Take Me Out, easily. The entire "American Idiot" album is so overrated; what, because it's political it's good?

Rock Song
“American Idiot,” (Green Day);
“Fall to Pieces,” (Velvet Revolver);
“Float On,” (Modest Mouse);
“Somebody Told Me,” (The Killers);
“Vertigo,” (U2)

Float On, even though I'll never listen to it again.

Rock Album
“The Delivery Man,” Elvis Costello and The Imposters;
“American Idiot,” Green Day;
“The Reason,” Hoobastank;
“Hot Fuss,” The Killers;
“Contraband,” Velvet Revolver

Gah.

Alternative Music Album
“Medulla,” Bjork;
“Franz Ferdinand,” Franz Ferdinand;
“Uh Huh Her,” PJ Harvey;
“Good News for People Who Love Bad News,” Modest Mouse;
“A Ghost Is Born,” Wilco

Oh sweet, Wilco.

Spoken Word Album
“Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim,” David Sedaris;
“Live and Kickin’ at the National Storytelling Festival,” David Holt and Zeb Holt;
“My Life,” Bill Clinton;
“The Pleasure of My Company,” Steve Martin;
“The World According to Mr. Rogers (Fred Rogers),”

I will claw out my eyes if Clinton wins.

Compilation Soundtrack Album for a Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media“
Cold Mountain,” Various Artists;
“De-Lovely,” Various Artists;
“Garden State,” Various Artists;
“Kill Bill — Vol. 2,” Various Artists;
“Shrek 2,” Various Artists

Oh man, wouldn't it be awesome if "Garden State" won this? The indie world would EXPLODE into a million pieces.

How could I forget?

I forgot to include Tea Leoni in my "Underappreciated" list. She's a Gold Member, for sure. Her work in "Family Man" was deserving of awards, people! As James Lipton would say, "She was a DELIGHT."

I haven't seen "Spanglish" yet, and I read she's terrible. It can't be true.

Underappreciated by Everyone Except Me

Bonnie Hunt, who I'm watching on "Celebrity Poker" right now, is one of the many actors/actresses out there who fall into the "Underappreciated by Everyone Except Me" category. This could refer to their looks, their talent, a certain performance that drew me in, or just that they're vastly underrated. Whichever it is, I feel compelled to see/watch/hear everything they do, because I'm the only one in on their little secret. It's all bullshit of course, because there are thousands of people who feel the same way I do. I blame our twisted celebrity culture for making me cling to these absurd ideas. Thanks a lot, twisted celebrity culture.

Underappreciated by Everyone Except Me

Gold Standard Members
Bonnie Hunt -- witty and strangely sexy despite her age
Billy Crudup -- one of the best actors out there
Jake Gyllenhaal -- great at capturing the disillusionment of a generation
John Sayles -- For me, it was "Limbo," then "Sunshine," then "Casa de los Babys", all largely ignored
Dennis Haysbert -- an actor who can portray an incredible amount of onscreen integrity.
Timothy Hutton -- underrated and underused everyman
Catherine Keener -- underrated and underused everywoman
Kate Winslet -- her eyes, basically. and "Holy Smoke!"

Newly Enlisted Members
Topher Grace -- "In Good Company" performance was flawless and always interesting
Rosario Dawson -- has a cool, refreshing look.

Former Members
Monica Bellucci -- until "Matrix Reloaded" came out
Penelope Cruz -- until she started dating Tom Cruise
Lindsay Lohan -- for about 5 days
The Entire Frat Pack: Will Ferrell, Jack Black, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn

Ready to Retire
Tina Fey -- now EVERYONE thinks she's as sharp as a tack and as cute as a button. Dammit.
Clive Owen -- cool British dude has a hard-on for the Bond mantle.
Zach Braff -- "Garden State" endeared him to millions of indie kids. And I hate that I'm one of them.

Mapother

In the previews for "Alias," they show Syd getting bitten by a vampire or something. Are you friggin kidding me? How can the same guy who writes "Lost" be writing "Alias"? And I mean seriously, how can anyone not be watching "Lost"? Tonight's episode was really good, if a little sad because of what happens to William Mapother's character. Mapother is Tom Cruise's cousin, and Jude and I interviewed him for The Observer when he was promoting "In the Bedroom," in which he had a supporting role. Jude wrote the article, so therefore he gets all the credit, but I was THERE, man! The interview went well, Jude typed up the article and turned it in, but then the Scene Section editor went to town on it, stripping it of some key facts and giving it a horrible headline ("From the Dome to Hollywood"). Hmm, I'm searching google for it right now and I've stumbled upon ANOTHER interview Mapother did with Observer this past November, for "The Grudge." I guess we weren't so special after all. But what's this? The author cites "Mission: Impossible 2" as the prime flick from Mapother's filmography. Oh man, what an idiot.

Heavy snow is coming this way tonight and tomorrow. NH's supposed to get hit pretty hard -- 8-12 inches. I took some work home with me tonight so I can stay in my apartment tomorrow without losing a vacation day. Unfortunately, I still have to get up early to conference call into an "Employee Development Team" meeting my boss can't attend. It's at 8:30am, and ya'll know what I'm like that early in the morning. I can't imagine I'll contribute much to the discussion; I'll probably just make one or two comments about the Rotational Program and then nod off, confident that my participation quota has been met.

"Hitch" looks terrible. Eva Mendes does not, however.

What's in it for me? epilogue

If I may, I'd like to respond to anonymous "j's" comment from my previous post.

Condi Rice: Right now she's in the initial puppy love phase of the relationship. Everyone loves her (or at least doesn't hate her) because she's new and she says she's bringing a fresh start to the Bush adminstration's efforts to build better relationships with Europe. It's her first outing, so my guess is the U.S. and European media won't be too hard on her. The decision to raise Bin Laden's bounty was ultimately hers, but it was a decision that had been formulating at the State Department for months, and so she just had to make the final call. It's not like she became Sec of State, sat down at her desk, picked up the telephone, and raised it to $50M. Although that would've been cool.

I agree that it will take a very long time to completely ween ourselves off of middle-eastern oil; however, the impact to oil prices will be felt long before then if we start a serious effort now. Interesting fact: The main suppliers of oil to the U.S. are -- Canada (1.68 million barrels/day), Saudi Arabia (1.49 million barrels/day), Venezuela (1.46 million barrels/day), and Mexico (1.35 million barrels/day). So, yeah, we get most of our oil from Mexico and South America, but the Saudi Arabian piece is pretty damn big (what is that, 25%?), so any small decrease in our demand for that oil will significantly impact Saud's revenue. It's absolutely ridiculous that the world's economy is at the mercy of these dictatorships (or whatever) in the middle east.

While I disagree that the war was motivated by oil, I doubt much of the world would have any interest in the region whatsoever if it didn't have such vital reserves (see Africa). But that's the way it is. Oil is the world's economic engine, so either we change that or we change the region. I think we know which strategy Bush has chosen.

TV watched:

1) Last ten minutes of the BC vs. ND b-ball game. ND beats undefeated BC by shutting down BC's Smith and stealing a lot of passes. It's not quite revenge for the Pats beating the Steelers, but for me it's close.

2) The Amazing Race finale. This show is boring, but I wanted to see which couple would win. The final three were (from CBS.com): 1) Freddy & Kendra - Engaged Models, 2) Kris & John - Dating Long Distance, and 3) Adam & Rebecca - Formerly Dating. What is this, Couples Counseling? These people are defined by their dating history. How sad. I couldn't tell one guy from the other, except for Adam's annoying horn haircut, and Freddy's giant eyeglasses. Basically, the teams that book the fastest flights and get the best taxi drivers are the ones that end up winning. Yawn. I'd be terrible at this game because I would have to take detours for my shits.

3) Scrubs. Good episode. JD tries to impress a girl on their first date by paying a homeless guy to fake a heart attack so he can save him. Tara Reid and her deformed breasts show up for some cigarette smoking and generally poor acting. I liked the opening bit with JD's outfit. It's true: on occassion, guys will spend just as much time as girls in choosing the right clothes. I know this because I've been on PLENTY of dates and let me tell you... oh, shut up.

What's in it for me?

Political thoughts of the evening, all basically stolen from Tom Friedman in some way, shape, or form:

1. The best way to engender democratic reform in the Middle East, particularly Iran, is by ... drumroll....reducing the world's dependence on their oil! I know, I'm brilliant. But seriously, as long as prices hover around $40/barrel, there ain't no way in hell the mullahs will give up or change. That's a lot of money coming their way everyday, what evil regime WOULDN'T want to keep that going? Unfortunately, the main causes of the price spikes are Chinese demand (friggin huge, and not going away anytime soon; heck, they're building three new nuclear power plants, and that'll only solve like 2% of the problem) and Nigerian worker strikes. But, BUT... the U.S. alone can make a significant dent simply by INDICATING a move away from oil; this means following through on the whole electric-motor craze (right now it's little more than a fad), promoting conservation, and a whole host of other ideas i don't know anything about. Again, the point is to simply START getting serious about it. I'm willing to bet that this will unnerve the mullahs just as much as the diplomatic sabre rattling that's going on right now. Besides, I strongly believe that whichever country (U.S., India, China, European Union) gets the lead on energy innovation will be best positioned for long-term prosperity (ie, the next superpower).

2. Bin Laden's bounty is now $50 million, recently doubled after being $25M for quite a while. When I first heard this, I thought, if $25M wasn't enough, what makes us think 50 will do the trick? This move (one of Condi Rice's first decisions as Sec of State), combined with Bush's State of the Union speech -- in which he referred to and quoted Zarqawi by name -- is sending the wrong message. Read Friedman's editorial here. Basically, the U.S. is emboldening the reputation of these guys. Think about it. Think about what kind of impact is made when your name is spoken by the President of the United States in the State of the Union. I mean, that's huge. Sure, Bush has said his name before, but not in such formal fashion in front of millions of Americans and broadcast around the world. Bin Laden's bounty increase is just silly. If there was a chance one of his supporters or some greedy local would give him up, $25M would be enough. Time for a new strategy.

3. As much as I admire the chutzpah of the President to take on such a huge, cumbersome issue as Social Security, it still seems like a low priority when compared to all we could be doing instead (my faves: securing our borders, reforming the tax code). Sure, I'd love a private account, but the amount of political resources and personal energy Bush is dedicating to this debate is what one would expect in peacetime. Not when we're at war. Maybe he thinks he can do it all: Fight a war, fix social security, pass medical liability & tax code reform, solve the border problem, etc. But he's only got like 2 years before the media turns its attention to 2008, and then it's all Hilary all the time (go McCain! Or Mitt!).

moving on...

The SuperBowl was alright. The best commercial was the Ameriquest one with the cat and the pasta sauce. Scratch that, it was only the funniest. The BEST one was the Anheuser-Busch military appreciation spot which showed a group of soldiers walking through an airport and then being applauded by everyone they passed in the terminal. Good stuff. Makes me want to join the army. Or not.

Best in Film - 2004

1. The Motorcycle Diaries
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. The Aviator
4. The Incredibles
5. Sideways
6. Collateral
7. The Door in the Floor
8. Maria Full of Grace
9. The Passion of the Christ
10. Spartan
Runners Up:
Anchorman
Super Size Me
Kill Bill Vol. 2
Spider-Man 2
The Machinist

Have not seen: Dogville, Before Sunset, Control Room, Team America, Ray, Undertow, Finding Neverland, Vera Drake, Primer, Lemony Snicket, Life Aquatic, The Woodsman, Hotel Rwanda, Closer

Directors: Scorsese (Aviator), Gondry (Sunshine), Salles (Motorcycle), Mann (Collateral)

Lead Performances: Giamatti (Sideways), DiCaprio (Aviator), Carrey (Sunshine), Bridges (Floor), Cruise (Collateral), Bale (Machinist), Winslet (Sunshine), Thurman (Vol 2)

Supporting: Steve Carrell (Anchorman), Streep (Manchurian), Portman (Garden State), Wahlberg (Huckabees), Madsen (Sideways), Blanchett (Aviator)

Cinematography: Motorcyle Diaries, Collateral, Aviator

Trailers: Polar Express (teaser), Eternal Sunshine, Man on Fire, Alexander, Ocean's 12. 2004 was a weak year for trailers.

Worst of 2004: The Punisher, The Day After Tomorrow, The Village

Flat Saturday

Let's test this mofo.

Tomorrow I'm going over to my parent's house to watch the Super Bowl because I'm lame. Go Pats and all that. Anyway, I'm worried that the Civic won't make the 45-minute drive down to Mass because I'm not sure the AAA guy did a great job plugging the gapping (gape-ing?) hole in my tire. There I was, walking out of Wal-Mart with all my car-washing stuff, and as I approach my car I see the friggin flat. Ten minutes ago it was fine. I look around the parking lot for sympathetic faces, but no one seems to be paying attention (what? the world DOESN'T revolve around me?). Wal-Mart has a Tire Service Center, but the dude behind the counter tells me it'll be an hour-and-a-half before they can see my car. Fuck that. Thanks Wal-Mart. I call my mom like the little mama's boy that I am -- well, not so much because I need her to tell me what to do, but because she's who I call when something goes wrong, and she's easy to complain to -- and then I decide to call AAA. AAA tells me it'll take up to 90 minutes for the truck to arrive. ARRGH. Yeah, see, this is my problem. Even though it's a rather nice day outside (45 degrees and sunny), and even though I'm within walking distance of my apartment and I don't have anywhere important to be, and because I'm easily frustrated, this still seems like the worst thing that could possibly happen to me.

Anyway, lucky me the AAA guy arrives in like in 10 minutes, which was amazing. Over the next 15 minutes he plugs my tire with the same goop they would use in a garage (or so he says), but not before going off on a tirade about how much Portsmouth sucks because it's "noveau-riche" and how "nobody from Old New England can afford to live in Portsmouth." He also weaves into our conversation statements about Geoge Soros -- a man "rich enough to be liberal" -- the French Revolution and JFK's tax philosophy. It was like GOOD WILL HUNTING with this guy, if Will Hunting was a short, bearded 55-year-old auto mechanic with a limp. When I mention I'm from Pittsburgh, he asks why the hell I live in Portsmouth when Pittsburgh has so much "character"? Character? I ask, "When's the last time you were in Pittsburgh?" "25 years ago." Uh, yeah, it's not so nice now. Thanks for fixing my tire, scary-smart-liberal-mechanic guy. Now begone.

Recently watched: SHAUN OF THE DEAD (3/5). ND vs. Syracuse (bummer). Screen Actors Guild Awards (Charlize Theron looks killer with black hair).