"24" ends, cell trouble, Star Wars

Whoo, what a season. The last two hours kept me guessing, even if my prediction from last week came true (well, not really). The Hot Terrorist Chick who took Tony hostage made an explicit comparison b/w what happened last season with Michelle and what was happening to Tony. So, you know, can't get much more obvious than that.

Speaking of obvious, I thought it was pretty damn obvious that Hot Chick Terrorist hadn't blown up herself and Tony in the car. So while every character in the show is reacting to T's death, I'm sitting there saying "He's not dead, people!" Thankfully, it didn't take Jack too long to figure it out. God bless Jack Bauer. I would enjoy this character even if he was stuck in a Chinese prison cell, which he almost was, up until he faked his own death. That would've been a pretty cool premise for next year's "24," actually. The twenty-four hours of the season could've been Jack's escape from China, receiving help from his four white American friends: Tony, Michelle, Chloe, and Chase (who was supposed to show up by now. What the hell?). Along the way he could solve the country's oil demand crisis, blow up their schools so that American kids won't have to compete with them anymore in math & science, and assasinate Kim Jong Il, who would be in the country for nuclear peace talks. Hurray for Jack Bauer!

But instead, it looks like next season will be about Jack's exploits as a dead man in Mexico/South America, although I guess it could take place anywhere outside of the United States. Whatever. Just as long as he doesn't make contact with fishface Audrey, I'll be happy.

Oh god I wanted to smack President Logan. That man was small in every way.

Behrooz, where are you??

And thus end my "24" posts. My apologies to those who don't watch the show for having to put up with my meaningless ramblings. I'll get things back on track.

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I saw "Revenge of the Sith" on Sunday with mom and pops. Turns out I could've met up with Lori and Brian Saturday night to see it, had my voicemail been working properly. Thanks to the black hole of reception that exists around my house, their message didn't show up on my cell until 23 hours after they left it. Thanks a lot, VerizonWireless. "Can you hear me now?" No, bitch, I CAN'T.

I also didn't get the message from my mom telling me I DIDN'T have to be at their house by 10:30am on Sunday morning. So, among the casualties already claimed by my crappy cell phone, please add two more: 1) One night at the movies with someone other than my parents, 2) My precious weekend slumber.

I'm getting a land line installed tomorrow afternoon.

Oh, Star Wars. It was alright. Here's what I wrote on FJ. I'm too lazy to say anything more about it.

The problems with the film are obvious, and they haven't much changed since "Menace": acting, dialogue, cutting. The special fx have improved, but Lucas at times went beyond their reach (ex. Jedi jumping around like characters from a Capcom game).

I'm having trouble pinpointing particular aspects of the film i liked, but i do remember thinking more than once, "hey, that's kinda cool."

SPOILERS AHEAD.
The biggest structural/narrative problem this new series has, imo, is the complete and utter vapidness of the love story b/w Anakin & Padme, which we now learn is the root cause of Anakin's willingness to turn to the dark side. It's too bad the relationship couldn't have been developed better, acted better, handled better than it was. It's the most critical piece of character development and motivation in the new series, and every scene between these two since the very first film has SUCKED.

The fact that "Sith" closes the saga (i hope) does lend the film some weight even though it doesn't earn it on its own. The final duel b/w Anakin & Obi-Wan was effective at certain points, and then completely undercut by shitting effects or awkward poses (at one point it looks like they're riding segueways).

What's that saying? "There's make believe, and then there's making you believe."

3/5.


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I watched "Team America" on Saturday as a reward for studying. It wasn't much of a reward, as I got one belly laugh out of it. It's when Gary, the main character puppet, vomits violently for like 75 seconds. It was the only time the puppets themselves made me laugh. One gets the sense that Trey Parker and Matt Stone thought that simply having puppets fight each other, shoot at each other, and have sex with each other, would itself be funny. It's not. And neither are rudimentary political jokes about celebritiy activists and US foreign policy. Very disappointing. 2/5.