On Turning 25

It's about damn time: I actually feel my age. 25 feels right. It feels in tune with what's going on. It feels me. Ever since I turned twenty, I have always felt older. Well, in certain ways. And I don't mean "wiser" or "more mature" -- it's more in terms of what I wanted, my goals. I wanted a steady job. I wanted a good place to live. I wanted a good salary. Now I want my own privacy (no more apartments), I want to study for the GMAT, I want to pay my bills on time, and I want to take care of the house. For godsakes, I just got a lawnmower. A lawnmower! During the week, I wake up in the morning, shower, iron my clothes, dress, pack my lunch and go to work. I come home and I heat up a pork chop or cook some pasta. I eat in front of the TV, occassionally yelling at it for letting such stupid people speak through it, then I wash the dishes. After that I go online, check my e-mail, hit all my bookmarks, read comics/magazines, maybe take a call, and then go to bed. Does that make me boring? God yes. And occasionally that gnaws at me. But after two years of moving around -- starting over, changing jobs -- it's nice to have stability. Really nice. And 25 feels very...stable. Who knows though, 6 months from now I could be suffocating under all this domestication, thinking about what the hell happened to my life and why nothing ever happens to me. I could be sick of Portsmouth and this house, my job could be going nowhere, etc. But for now, it's just fine. And I'm happy. So Happy Birthday to me.

I don't think I got this message across to my parents very well yesterday at dinner when they started talking about all the options open to me, including law school. Basically, they don't want me to be typecast as a manufacturing financial analyst. They have a point, but for godsakes I've only been here a year. I'm nowhere NEAR feeling bored or unchallenged. This is the best position I've ever held at Westinghouse. But that's just it. Ever since I got my job with Westinghouse, I've always sensed in them a little disappointment that I didn't land a more premiere job with a fancy company in Chicago or New York or something. To them, and probably to my friends, I work in a dirty little manufacturing plant, counting beans for a bunch of poorly dressed engineers with gray hair and wrinkly skin. This is ridiculous, and I'm sick of defending what I do. The more important point is that my Mom and Dad started this discussion with me at dinner, on my 25th birthday, and they came as unified front. You know what I mean. It's like they already discussed it. And that's ok, but what it means is that they feel VERY strongly about this. And they want me to take their advice to heart. And, whether I like it or not, they give very good advice...and they always make a strong case, especially my dad. So now I'm all worked up about it. I'll continue to study for the GMAT, because it'll help to see what kind of school I can get into. And then I have to see how this year pans out for Westinghouse, and the Newington site in particular (where I work). The company as a whole is approaching a turning point -- if it wins the big China contract, the future will be very very bright -- and with the departure of Newington's VP in June, and the arrival of the new guy, my job satisfaction/frustration could change very quickly. So I'm in wait-and-see mode right now. But dammit, I ain't moving anymore. And I sure as hell ain't changing jobs if I'm not 210% positive it's the right move. My friend Chris learned that the hard way when he left Westinghouse to go work for Timberland and found himself working 80 hours a week for a bunch of assholes in hunter-green sweatshirts and cargo pants.

Anyway, back to the silly stuff.

Movies: "Primer," a 2004 indie flick about two guys who invent a time machine, is really good. I give it a 3.5/5 because it's free of all mainstream dumb-down filmmaking and it dares you to keep up with it. Plus it's only 77 minutes.

TV: "24" was great tonight as usual. The return of President Palmer was kick-ass. I can't wait to see him running the show again. The whole "we have to arrest Jack, NOW" thing entrenched my deep-seated feelings against the liberal viewpoint that disagrees with Jack & CTU's approach. I laughed-out-loud at Chloe's "Rambo" moment, which I think was supposed to be funny.

Oh, and is anyone out there watching the new season of "Project: Greenlight" on Bravo? It's the best season ever, by far.