Flat Saturday

Let's test this mofo.

Tomorrow I'm going over to my parent's house to watch the Super Bowl because I'm lame. Go Pats and all that. Anyway, I'm worried that the Civic won't make the 45-minute drive down to Mass because I'm not sure the AAA guy did a great job plugging the gapping (gape-ing?) hole in my tire. There I was, walking out of Wal-Mart with all my car-washing stuff, and as I approach my car I see the friggin flat. Ten minutes ago it was fine. I look around the parking lot for sympathetic faces, but no one seems to be paying attention (what? the world DOESN'T revolve around me?). Wal-Mart has a Tire Service Center, but the dude behind the counter tells me it'll be an hour-and-a-half before they can see my car. Fuck that. Thanks Wal-Mart. I call my mom like the little mama's boy that I am -- well, not so much because I need her to tell me what to do, but because she's who I call when something goes wrong, and she's easy to complain to -- and then I decide to call AAA. AAA tells me it'll take up to 90 minutes for the truck to arrive. ARRGH. Yeah, see, this is my problem. Even though it's a rather nice day outside (45 degrees and sunny), and even though I'm within walking distance of my apartment and I don't have anywhere important to be, and because I'm easily frustrated, this still seems like the worst thing that could possibly happen to me.

Anyway, lucky me the AAA guy arrives in like in 10 minutes, which was amazing. Over the next 15 minutes he plugs my tire with the same goop they would use in a garage (or so he says), but not before going off on a tirade about how much Portsmouth sucks because it's "noveau-riche" and how "nobody from Old New England can afford to live in Portsmouth." He also weaves into our conversation statements about Geoge Soros -- a man "rich enough to be liberal" -- the French Revolution and JFK's tax philosophy. It was like GOOD WILL HUNTING with this guy, if Will Hunting was a short, bearded 55-year-old auto mechanic with a limp. When I mention I'm from Pittsburgh, he asks why the hell I live in Portsmouth when Pittsburgh has so much "character"? Character? I ask, "When's the last time you were in Pittsburgh?" "25 years ago." Uh, yeah, it's not so nice now. Thanks for fixing my tire, scary-smart-liberal-mechanic guy. Now begone.

Recently watched: SHAUN OF THE DEAD (3/5). ND vs. Syracuse (bummer). Screen Actors Guild Awards (Charlize Theron looks killer with black hair).